What Else I've Been Doing

OK we are back after an enforced three day hiatus with the computer in the shop. My computer was at Staples getting viruses removed and Norton 360 being installed. I had been told in a Tuesday phone call that “Well he won’t be working today because it’s the salesman’s birthday” (?) I was led to believe if they found any viruses it would be at least three days more. They said over twenty files were affected. When we got there I was told they found over twenty viruses but most of them were spyware and data miners, but there were a few Trojans, which can hijack your computer.

The blood guy woke me up but this time he didn’t come for me but for bill. I endeavored to get back to sleep and looked at my watch and it was only twenty to five. So I decided to get dressed and go out on the patio for a cigarette. All the chairs in the corner were about taken. People get up early here. After a while I thought of going back to bed but decided I would just take a long shower. It’s still dark now at 5:25, so we are already seeing shortening days. Then I watched TV. There was this “brain” guy on KCOE. He says if you have anxiety or depression to ask yourself four questions. Is this negative thought true? Is it true to a “metaphysical certainty”? What would life be like if I never had this thought? And what if I asked myself the opposite question- would that be true? There is one question he avoids in all this, which is “Would anything in reality change even if I were successful at pushing this thought out of my mind?” He doesn’t want to touch that one. He says that if you have ever had attention deficit disorder, then you still have it as an adult. As you may know I was on Ritalan. But Ritalan lowered my overall tolerance to the drug as it built up in my system. Supposedly, frontal lobe activity is less in ADD sufferers so that giving a stimulant is a counter intuitive measure that restores activity to this part of the brain. But the drug lowered my math performance, and screwed me up in a mid semester audition for concert band in January 1966. I had Keith Moon’s disorder. I got goofed up sight reading with 6/8 time, the same thing Keith Moon had trouble with strung out on drugs and trying to drum to “the music must change”.

Of course these educational TV stations have their money breaks so they suffer from their own peculiar “short attention span”, and it seems these stations are raising money almost all the time now, not to mention the commercial marathons they have before a long program such as “the news hour”. This guy plugged Omega 3 fish oil and said to avoid red dye and don’t drink or smoke, and how caffeine constricts blood vessles cutting off nourishment to the brain. I took my medication before breakfast. We had corn flakes, just like yesterday. We had pancakes and bacon, and what’s his name gave me his orange juice. This is going to be such a long entry that we should get two whole blog postings out of it. It’s overcast outside for the third day in a row.

I have always believed that the “Real” John Lennon wrote all of his solo songs but evidence has come to light about one of his songs, “Cold Turkey” which leads me to believe the “Fake” John Lennon inspired this one. If you listen to the original Live Peace version of this song- - suddenly it hit me that it had the same riff and structure as a piece popular in the fall of 1967 by - - - a London based rock group doing a song about an event in California. This group had four- - count them- - hits in 1967 and two in 1968 and none of them get played on the oldies stations or anywhere else. Lennon endeavored to disguise the similarity to this 1967 song in subsequent renditions of “Cold Turkey” so this is why I want you to go back and listen to the “Live Peace” original.

You’ve heard Cory Hennisee’s statement from “Eight Simple Rules” about this “Friend” who shows up – often unwelcome - - and you can’t tell this friend to go away because he has no ears. I wonder, does God have ears or even need them? You see he created this Universe, and in his mind he did a perfect job. Or let’s just say, with infinite possibilities at his disposal, which none of us have, “This is the best God could do” and he couldn’t have done any better. That’s what they want us to believe. I had a dream last night I was listening to that guy on channel 28 about the nature of “God” and religions and various religions. One religious type is the Presbyterian type, where you believe a lot of rigid rules and theological bullshit nobody understands or cares about. Ronald Reagan was a Presbyterian. They are proud of their Scottish origins and all. Another type of religion involves Passion. These are the Crusades of the Middle Ages and people who believed tales of untold riches in Africa or wherever. This is the religion of Joan of Arc, who heard the voices. In this dream I was romantically attracted to Janet. I liked her mind and her vast literary knowledge. But didn’t they say that “Janet” in French means “Never”? I think. It struck me how similar religion was to puberty and hormones. They are at times unwelcome but they’re going to happen regardless- - even if they have adverse effects on your judgement and emotional maturety. In another part of this dream, there was a teacher lecturing little kids- - and there were various sized pails on the floor and the teacher asks a little kid “Are you a little or a big bucket”? He wanted the kid to answer “big bucket” because in Christianity we are supposed to see ourselves as “Big Buckets”. But I happened to think, and I told the kid (I think) “We don’t have control often over how big we are but we can determine WHAT we are. For instance a bucket can be used to fetch water. Or a bucket can be used to put dirt in for a potted plant. Or you can fill it with cement and you can let the cement harden and use the thing as a big paper weight- - or to swing around and hit somebody else in the head”.

They say if you talk to God well that’s good. But if God talks to you- - then you have a major mental health problem. We are told- - and I have been told- - that mental illness interferes with your ability to be a successful Christian. Then you ask why doesn’t God heal your mind so he can have the Glory and you can become a better Christian. That sounds logical to me. But not to Jesus of KFI. No- - he virtually never admits to the possibility of healing- -or even acknowledging reports of its having occurred already in others. And this same Jesus who says mental illness is the scourge of Christian faith, will also say out of the other corner of his mouth that “Mental illness isn’t any “real problem” in becoming a Christian, but it’s just another obstacle to be overcome”. (Selah)